Me and My Girls

This story starts in 1998 with my first mysterious savage attack of gastro pain. At this time I was working for a major car dealer assisting to manage their prime location. The work was extremely well paid but extremely stressful.

I arrived at the ER with an intense pain radiating from my lower middle abdomen through to my upper left back. Three days later I was fine and none the worse for wear, or so I thought. The Doctor told me they did not know what had caused the pain as they could find no evidence of any thing being wrong.

Some 12 to 18 months later I had more attacks and was hospitalized for another 4 to 5 days on each occasion, cause unknown?? By this stage I was in full denial with the amount of alcohol I was consuming. I was still working, studying, and maintaining a family so how could alcohol be a problem??? On both occasions I went straight back to my old lifestyle blissfully "unaware" that I was severely damaging myself with each drink.

I had it all under control, no problems!!!! I remember sitting talking to my business partner on the phone; I hadn't been drinking in nearly 24 hours as I had been feeling a bit off. When the pain started it was unmistakable, lower left ribs radiating to the right lower with an intense pile driver pain just tucked up under my ribs. I knew within the first 20 minutes I was in trouble.

I was in the emergency room within an hour. By this time I could hardly talk due to the pain and had already passed out a couple of times. The immediate thought was gallstones and they began to treat me for that. By this stage I had 35mg IV of morphine and it hadn't even touched me. I was still in intense pain with vital signs now reaching extremely dangerous levels. BP 260 on 190/210 pulse of 140 thready. I was losing color and starting to go into severe shock. The Doctor treating me kept asking if I was a heavy drinker, which I denied, as I had on all my other admissions. Thankfully the Doctor didn't believe me and started looking for other causes of my pain. About 30 minutes later he came back and informed me that my Amylase and Lipase levels were through the roof. Now I was having difficulty breathing and the pain had moved to a whole level I had never thought possible. I can still remember the Doctor standing at the end of my bed and saying " Mr. Kennedy, things have become very serious please tell me how much alcohol you drink" he then turned and asked my wife to leave.

I asked my wife to stay and told them both the truth. It was not until I actually spoke the words did the enormity of what I had done to myself actually have some meaning to me.

I spent one week in high dependency and a further week in general medical. It took nearly a full year for me to physically recover from that last attack and I have been warned that another acute attack of the same severity will kill me.

During my recovery I have had plenty of time to reflect on how I found myself in this position. Alcohol, pure and simple!! I abused it and it repaid me tenfold. Pain is my companion most hours of any given day, nausea and fatigue pay constant visits. A future without pain is very difficult to see but I live in hope.

Now when I see the sun come up and I feel it's warmth, I appreciate it much more for the miracle that it is. I have two beautiful daughters who love me and I have been given a second chance at life. My marriage not only survived the revelations of my alcohol abuse but has become even stronger. This is largely due to my beautiful wife Meryl who is my rock, my cornerstone and my best friend. Her love and rock solid support throughout this whole ordeal has been unfailing.

My life is very different now and for that I am thankful. Drinking alcohol is no longer part of my life and just the smell now makes me queasy. The day I stopped lying to myself about my alcoholism was the day I took my life back.

This disease wears you down bit by bit. I fight back by enjoying life despite of it even though it is a battle I can never win. I live in hope along with all my fellow suffers that better treatments will be discovered and the impact on the suffers and those around them can be softened.



     

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