Holly

Hollie's Struggles

I have thought about this a lot in the past several weeks. This is what happened. In December my hubby had his gall bladder out on an emergent basis after having pains and lots of trouble for- oh about 2 years- I have had these same pains for -oh- since 1993, so where's the fire? I wanted to be seen for this in December and was sloughed off by 3 docs. Then in January the same 3 docs said no surgery for me on this and to just go home.

Then I saw a local surgeon and he said I didn't have gall bladder problems- I knew different- he only had me have an ultra sound and nothing more and sent me away to go back to a GI doc. So, I kept trudging along and saw another doc and he sent me for a hepatiary billiary scan of the gall bladder function on Wednesday of this week and today they say it must come out, as it is in complete organ failure. So, I'm ticked at all the run around and because they all sloughed me off- except for this last doc- I'm now in an untimely position for any surgery to take place due to events that are imminently in my future days ahead. I could have had it done fine back in January or February- but now won't work out.

Anyway, this is my concern. I have the carcinoid disease and anesthesia is very dangerous for us carcinoid patients. Death could be immediate upon being sedated. It is a big risk. Then I have this blood clotting thing and that is also a big risk. Now the 2 things together - as if that weren't enough fun- I have Crohnes disease also. So... finding the right guy to manage me well and safely is going to be a task and I don't want a bad outcome before Hollie graduates from high school. I sure do want to live to see that day. In the end it is all in God's hands anyway and whatever I decide he will guide and bring me home to his choice of destinations anyway. Whether that be my home or heaven is up to him. I just want to stay awhile longer and do more for others and help where I am needed. I truly feel that my work here is not yet finished. I'm sure you know what I mean. I do worry about an attack or an unplanned surgery. I just want to wait and do it when it won't be such an upset for my family. Whatever I can't do in the next 4 weeks my hubby will have to do and if I go south- so to speak with this surgery having some complications- then he gets to do it all. Hollie's open house for her graduation is less that 60 days away and I want to wait for her day to be over and I don't want my circumstance to overshadow her experience or cause her great worry. She worries too much already. She is such a gentle dear spirit- I can't bare to hurt her. Our family really doesn't need all this junk just now. I wish it were absent and could wait until June.

When a patient has carcinoid and the introduction of anesthesia takes places, sometimes the carcinoid tumors dump a big amount of chemistries. These chemistries take over the blood carrying ability of oxygen being carried to the organs and cardiac arrest can immediately ensue and death. It's a concern I have. It has happened to other carcinoid patients who have gone in for a very simple surgery exactly like the gall bladder. It just really scares me and if June is an option I would pray it be mine rather than now.

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